September 14

What about not berating myself anymore? What about not beating myself up for being non-perfect? What about taking it one baby step at a time? It would seem I’m having trouble with the fundamentals lately: getting to sleep on time, so I can get out of bed on time, so I can do what I need to do in the morning, so I can get to work at a good time, so I can leave at a good time, so I can do more when I get home and go to bed on time. See how this cycle works? If one of these is off schedule, it throws the whole cycle out of whack.

When I’m no where near a computer or pen and paper, my mind is flooded with ideas for great short stories. As I sit here right now, I’m completely blank! Where have all the good men (stories) gone?

I really liked the last chapter of McCourt’s “Teacher Man”. He is preaching to his students the presence of creative writing in every single day. He is absolutely correct when he says anything can be a story. Every decision you make is writing: making a decision is writing a small part of the future in every moment.

In the next 30-60 minutes, how would my future look (what decisions am I faced with in the next hour or so)? Shall I decide to continue tapping away at this document, or shall I choose to return to the lesson? Shall I finish this sugary French vanilla coffee and get another or shall I savor it a little longer? And when I finish it (surely within an hour) shall I get a tea or a watered eight-ounce half-caf? If someone comes into this cubical and asks me to help them with a project that I deem silly and tiresome, will I agree or will I defer them with some imagined, priority project? When the pop-up reminders come up again, will I defer those for another thirty minutes or will I choose to tackle the tasks I’m supposed to be doing?