Yet another dream…
Sometime, either last night or early this morning, I had a dream that I was out and about with high school friends on some adventure and we were given a ride back to our parents’ houses on a blue bird school bus. As we approached my parents’ house, I was excited to see a 1969 Mustang in their side drive. ATD!! Haven’t seen that bugger for a very long time so I was naturally excited. When I went inside, I heard people talking in the kitchen (their old kitchen, not the renovated one). But as I walked in, I noticed it wasn’t ATD, it was that guy who works here and reminds me of MCR. Creepy, and eeewwwww. I have no idea why he was there, or why my parents were so interested in him. He walked away to use the bathroom and I noticed what he had written on the cover of his notebook, something trite about not wanting to write with his new pen because it was running out of ink. Whatever. Weird!
Black Cat takes a hit
My car was damaged last night. This man was backing his behemoth Uhaul van (twenty feet? twenty-five feet?) to find a better place to put it when he smacked into the back of my car. He must have been going at a pretty good clip based on the scatter of the tail light plastic. It appeared the plastic bits were scattered about six feet or more from the car. And the hole in the bumper looks like it was gashed, then ripped. There’s a thumb-sized chunk of fiberglass poking 90 degrees away from the surface, and another thumb-sized piece just missing completely.
Cheap drugs
If you are EVER again in doubt about the state of your mental health, I PROMISE all you have to do is drink a good cup of coffee — you’ll be right as rain soon enough — the world’s cheapest, easiest anti-depressant! HOWEVER you must be aware that in a caffeinated state you also make some bad decisions, almost like being drunk — too much shopping, overspending, over-ambitious, forget to drink water, forget to eat in a timely fashion, and more — cheap easy anti-depressants should be taken in moderation, just like everything else.
More Chastising
There is nothing you can read, nothing you can buy, no tool you can possess that will help you UNTIL you are willing to actually do the WORK — that’s right, you must do the work — all the exercises, all the questions and answers, all the meditations, all the journaling and dream-work — and it will all take TIME — time that has been wasted up to this point — imagine how far you would be in life right now if you had done some of this work when you first came across it? Imagine how far you’d be in life if you did half the work that was legitimately presented to you, at the time it was presented? You will not be able to progress or grow or learn anything until you put in the time, energy and effort it takes to do the work — until then, you’re just treading water — just like you have for the past eight years.