Wicked Dreams Last Night

NOTE: It would seem that double pepperoni pizza, pecan praline ice cream, and Ziegenbock have some sort of semi-hallucinogenic properties seven hours after combined in the stomach. Because – really – I do NOT dream like this. However, like all dreams, this one is fading as fast as I can record it.

1:22 am – ACT I – Some other fans and I arrived at a farmstead early in the day to park our cars in the neighbor’s back pasture. We stood outside (daylight) for a while waiting for CDT to come out of his house. When this didn’t happen we took it upon ourselves to go inside. All of us. At once. But it didn’t seem much like “bum-rushing” the home, it seemed more like a bunch of guests arriving at a party at the same time because the door was unlocked. In the next part of the dream it’s evening and the other fans and I are scattered throughout the house chatting with one another, milling about just like it was a party. We were all waiting for CDT to come out of hiding from some room or other. Poor guy. That’s when I started to feel really guilty about the whole thing. Then some vague, hazy dream stuff happened. Then CDT arrived on the scene, not disturbed or pissed off to find a bunch of over-zealous fans hanging around his house, he just politely but firmly asked everyone to leave – much like party guests overstaying the invitation. A few people were hesitant and had to be ushered to the door. That’s when my guilt kicked into “let me help out by correcting this situation” as I started rounding up fans from the upper floors to help clear the house. At this point CDT disappeared to help his girls get ready for bed. I was downstairs closing windows and shooing guests when I heard a girl ask, “Where did all the funny ladies go?”. CDT replied that they all had to leave. Then he went on to explain (something) about the funny lady who was left (me?) for now “thinks it’s ok but her thoughts will change soon just like the rest of them.” Every time I turned around to close another window, some fan had sneaked back into the house. So for a short time it was like trying to coral a bunch of chickens with the doors to the coop wide open. Then this part of the dream ended and I was walking back to my car in the dark, the last car in the pasture, when I realize the neighbor had closed and padlocked the gate to the pasture with my car still inside. As I was standing there contemplating this situation, right in front of me a horse kicks over a section of fence, jumps through to the other side, then stands there looking at me like “well, hey, getting out of here isn’t so hard, what are you complaining about?’. It occurred to me the farmer may be interested to know his horse broke free from the pasture, and I needed him to unlock the gate so I could drive my car out, so I made the trek up to the farmhouse to alert him. END OF ACT I.

INTERMISSION – gurgling, percolating, nauseas stomach gets me out of bed for a glass of water.

2:54 am – ACT II – I was driving through a lower section of highway that was split like the upper and lower deck of IH35, but the lower section was enclosed more like a tunnel. Just as I get inside, I approach a horrific traffic accident. The kind you only see in movies but more gory. This accident was so violent it had ripped open a section of the highway to expose the city sewer running free underneath it all. In that image, the goriest I’ve ever dreamt, there was blood, motor oil, transmission fluid, coolant, everything just running together from the scene of the accident straight into the sewer. Somehow I’m out of my car staring down at this when someone behind me says “don’t drink the city water, it’s polluted”. Well, duh! [NOTE: Greg Fitzsimmons was on Comedy Central last night and he mentioned that the L.A. water supply was contaminated with estrogen and anti-depressants. He said his boys may grow up with breasts but they won’t care too much about it. That’s probably where this came from.] Then some other hazy dream stuff happened and I’m standing on the highway at the other end of the accident. Some other drivers and I are discussing how we’re supposed to get out of the tunnel. For some reason (weird dream logic) we can’t just turn our cars around and drive out the way we came in. That just won’t do. And for even weirder reasons we can’t walk out of the tunnel on the other side. The dream shifts theme at this point. It becomes a Blade Runner, X Files combo episode complete with android/artificial intelligence, a la the movie Bicentennial Man. But it’s a woman. She’s helping us out by computing the feasibility of different strategies to get us out of the tunnel. Then some more hazy dream stuff happens and I’ve been nominated by the group to go get help. The plan is this – rig one of the wrecked cars to work well enough to get to the end of the tunnel, then turn the car around at the end of the tunnel and drive back down the upper deck of the highway (against traffic?) to reach help on the “outside”. But what the planners fail to mention, the reason we can’t just drive out and keep going, is that there is a strange, holographic city on the other end of the tunnel inhabited by really mean people who exist only to hurt people. Here’s where the X Files part comes in. It’s suggested that these mean people may be normal humans inhabited by alien life forms who require the strong magnetic energy created by holographic projectors to exist safely on this planet, which is why they’re only living in the holographic city at the end of the highway tunnel. Neat, huh? So the dream shifts and I’m in the rigged car, with three other people and very little gas. Gasoline is a concern, apparently no body realized how far it is to the end of the tunnel. The dream shifts again and we’re approaching the end of the tunnel, but I’m not driving. It’s my mother. The plan is working so far, we’re at the end of the tunnel and according to the android who dreamed up this scheme, we’re supposed to drive straight into the heart of the holographic city and use the traffic circle there to do a U-turn. However, when we enter the traffic circle, my mother decides she has her own plan and instead of doing the U-turn as planned, she drives straight around to the other side, with everyone else in the car screaming at her to TURN AROUND! That’s where this part of the dream ends. There was a lot more, but it’s only in “blips” and “clips” so I’ll stop here.

There was another dream after this, using a lot of the same themes and characters as the last dream (guess my subconscious is careful about recycling as well). But in my memory it’s only in fragments and it involves a mentally challenged adult with the personality of a five year-old and that’s just treading on dangerous territory so I’ll skip it.